Christmas 2018

Chicago to Denver -
This is not the Christmas we planned, but it’s the Christmas we have because sometimes life changes in an instant. Despite the great loss and sadness, that I don’t think we have fully absorbed, I have to show up and be a Mom. I have to set aside the heartbreak and continue on with our traditions and give the girls a Christmas. I am grateful for my family that helped make this happen for my noodles. This Christmas I’m praying for strength and courage as we go forward. My spiritual practice calls me to go within, lean in and connect to that all encompassing, unconditional, unending love that’s ever present. Hug your loved ones tightly, each moment is so precious.

It’s 7PM Denver time... I’m marking this as we survived our first holiday without you, your favorite holiday that you made so special. 
It was a blessing to be with my family that loved on us and I am grateful they made this happen for the noodles and I.
It was a day of making new memories, laughing and loving each other... and at the same time it hurt like hell. It’s hard for me to describe as I ebbed and flowed throughout the day moving in and out of past Christmases with Michael and our plans for this year. It brings me to tears... BUT we have made it through some pretty dark days recently and this is another one we got through. Not only did we get through them... we had things to be grateful for and we felt LOVE. 
I carried him with me all day long, tucked right into my heart. 
Merry Christmas Sweetheart ❤️
And Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones.
#MissingMichael #LoveTheHellOutOfPeople #LifeIsPrecious #MyLove#GratefulHeart  #Christmas#MichaelsFavoriteHoliday #Courage #FaithOverFear #GratefulHeart#MissingMichael #Love #WeMissDutch