No Limits on Joy

Last night we went to Maddie's softball game.  This was the first softball game of the season that we were not freezing and wet, it was a beautiful night. The girls played their hearts out, almost won a game and had fun.  

It was warm and sweet Maddie girl was hot and sweaty. After the game she came walking over to myself, her sister and her Dad (her cheering section) and said, with the biggest smile and goofy little laugh, “that was a good game!  I’m going to dump my water on my head..?…?” She is a “rule follower” (we have no clue whose kid she is) and she knew this was out of the “norm”.  She was looking at us to see how we would respond and if that was an “ok” thing to do. 
To get wet, to be celebratory with the water, to be silly and for her this would be WILD. 

Another parent immediately said “well I think you only do that if you win”. It’s was an automatic reaction in him saying what I think most of us think and would likely say.  

You pour water over your head and your teammates when you win, to celebrate.  Maybe a once a season thing? Maybe just for a big game?

BUT WHY do we think we can only do that then?  Who set that boundary and why do we buy into it?

Why do we want to put limits on expressing joy?  Celebration?  Silliness? Letting loose? Living in the moment and following an innocent and harmless impulse of joy/happiness?

I was quick to notice this is just another way we keep ourselves small and our joy small. 

I realize this example seems insignificant, but is it?

It challenges me (I hope us) to see what other thought and behavior patterns we just follow without question and maybe ask ourselves if that aligns with you and the way you want to live. Take a look at ways we suppress showing and experiencing happiness, joy, peace, silliness, love…

Many of us may have said no because we don’t want a wet kid in the car. 

Some would say you only do that when you win. 

No judgement, I get it, I have had to learn to challenge my own knee jerk responses and learn to ask WHY and then usually say YES.

I said YES (this is one of the things I try to do as a parent is say YES as much as I can to creativity, joy, silliness, fun, spontaneity, out of the box thinking and I’ve made “should” a swear word in our home)

“YES Maddie, GOOD IDEA, go for it, sounds fun to me, dump it all over your head, keep that big ole smile on your face, and celebrate your night, your team, that it was warm out... whatever you want kid.”

Say YES more.

Express joy freely, abundantly and every chance you get.

Right here.

Right now.

In this very moment. 

However that looks for you because right here and right now is all that exists and we just don’t know about the next moment.  

Now go pour water on your head. 

Well ok, maybe not that but you’re picking up what I am laying down, right?
Take a moment to think about this.
Maybe send a Thursday love note to someone in your life that you wouldn’t normally express love to (not husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriends, parent). Maybe talk about a joy of yours, or an accomplishment, openly with others without telling yourself its bragging - let us share in your joy and your win. Maybe take that break or nap and don’t tell yourself you’re lazy :). Maybe sing that song as loud as you can without being embarrassed (and lovingly ask yourself where that embarrassment comes from anyways?). Maybe get up and shake it, right now. Maybe hug someone because you need it or they need it. Blast that Jonas Brothers song you actually love and pretend you don’t. :)

Life has challenged me to look at ways I suppress joy, love, bliss, happiness and strange judgements and boundaries I have put around what’s “appropriate” and what’s not.

XO